Something that is returning in me is my desire to write.
I just want to write and write and write.
I think school and uni kind of pummelled my love of writing out of me. As much as I loved studying theology, 3000 word essays kind of got a bit tiring after awhile.
Oh word count button, how I loved thee.
For those of you who are currently studying, I hear you, I remember.
I loved writing as a kid and I have always kept a journal but I have only written two stories since my children were born; their birth stories, both a way to record the event and reflect on the experience.
It is time to write some more!
As for blogs, I have enjoyed a few on and off, a handful that have interested me for a period. Somewhere along the line they dropped off. I just stopped checking.
One blogger who has charmed me of late is Leonie Dawson.
She has a great way with words that is inspiring, down to earth and amazingly creative. From her free e-book, "Blogging and Biz', I felt inspired again to write. I whipped up this website and wrote my first post in two nights.
It felt great but it couldn't be perfect. How could it be?
In a full life I have only a limited amount of free time, I could edit and edit and still not be happy with it grammatically...and I'd go to sleep late and wake early for my little ones with my cranky pants on, not my happy pants!
So, sure, I'd like to present something perfect for you. I'll have my handy proof reader and editor just check it over for me while I get my child another sandwich, change a nappy, feed the cat and think about what I'm making for tea.
I will do the best I can :-)
This is not my favourite topic but seeing as most of the posts you will be reading here are of the 'happy, happy, joy' kind, I wanted to write this one to balance it out.
Negative emotions are normal.
I am normal. You are normal.
Negative emotions are the human experience; positive and negative, up and down, good and bad. You can't have one without the other because, in all its simplicity, how would you know how GOOD good is if you didn't sometimes feel the opposite?
This week I've felt a bit down and doubtful, as well as anxious.
This down period culminated in a massive cry last night; seemingly unrelated to the issue that I'd be trying to solve for the last couple of weeks.
As icky and as confusing as it was, in some tiny way in the back of my mind, I welcomed the crying. Somehow I knew it was what I needed.
I knew it was healthy, I knew it would pass.
I want to tell you that sometimes the quickest way to pass through a negative emotion, whatever it is, is to feel it in its entirety. Mine was grief last night and what kinda felt like betrayal as I went deeply into it but it could be anything.
It's like letting it go makes room for the new.
Sometimes I feel like a rest afterwards.
Sometimes I feel energised to problem solve in a whole new way; I can see more clearly.
How are you feeling?
PS. How cool is this stormy sky. Master 5 came inside to tell me about it the other day. No photoshop here!
1. Colouring in.
Here is a website with lots of kiddie pictures to print out as well some beautiful mandalas. The word mandala means circle which symbolises wholeness. They can be a lovely meditative activity for me depending how long my children sit still for! Superhero pictures are a winner for Master 5.
2. Playgrounds and Parks.
I love a new playground or park to explore. I especially love it when we are in a sleepy, little country town and we have it all to ourselves.
I like to test out the equipment to see if it's appropriate.
I like the mini rock-climbing walls, well not too mini, I mean the ones that are on the 'big kids' playgrounds.
Mmm, fresh air and energy that makes me feel alive! It's all good.
Except the sunburn.
And sometimes the bugs.
And when it's windy I tend to get frazzled for no particular reason.
But for now I'll choose to focus on rugging up for a play on a calm and crisp Winter's day. :-)
3. Playing music.
Not just any music but music that makes you feel good! I like to play music that makes me want to MOVE! My taste in music is not very 'cool', it never has been and it never will be, but it does make me smile.
Does the music you listen to with your kids make you smile?
Or want to dance?
Singing the "Small Potatoes' theme song makes me smile.
50's and 60's rock and roll makes me want to move. Me, the kids and my Mum had a 60's Cliff Richard disco on the weekend. The four of us were all laughing, busting some new moves and having a wonderful time to the likes of "Do you wanna dance?" and "Dancing shoes". I love those old film clips too,
Cliff with a quiff is pretty cute.
Did I just say that out loud?
What about Tribal drum beats? Dance music?
We can't get enough of Renee and Jeremy's happy tunes. www.reneeandjeremy.com
My kids end up loving what I love so, lyrics approved, it's a win-win.
4. Affirmation cards.
www.nurturecards.com.au are the ones we use and love. They have sweet, simple drawings and a positive affirmation to read aloud with the kids. They are produced by an Aussie Mum with a heart for building kids up with happiness, self confidence, self esteem and self love.
There are different ways to use affirmation cards and at the moment we like to shuffle them in the morning and see what card we get. The card's affirmation presents us with an opportunity for conversation that may otherwise not come up. The card may also provide some insight into something we may need to work on. Sometimes reading the affirmation is easy and it feels right. It is a truth that we understand and believe about ourselves. Sometimes the affirmation feels foreign or embarrassing or impossible.
For the last four days I have chosen a card which says, "I am proud of myself and all that I can do." Apparently I haven't 'got it' just yet, maybe when I do I will pull out a different card?! They are so beautiful and they make me happy. I haven't had a chance to play them today so I will do that now.
PS. Do you like our new rope ladder? Master 5 received it for his birthday.
It won't hold my weight unfortunately.
Here we go!
My very first bloggidy blog.
If you like what you read, please come back.
If you don't, that's okay too :-)
I have discovered that my greatest teachers right now are my little ones, aged 5 and 1. Master 5 said to me yesterday, with much sadness, "I don't want to be 5. I don't want to keep having birthdays 'cos then I'll be an adult".
"You don't want to grow up to be an adult? You sound sad."
"I don't want to be an adult because it's boring."
I was a little shocked and a lot saddened.
Boring? How can being an adult be boring? Is that how he sees me? Us?
Hmmm, I don't know about you but his comment really touched a nerve. Life really did get quite serious for me somewhere between being a kid and being a 33 year old mum of two! I'm sure this could be understood as being quite boring to a 5 year old.
It's a big responsibility, parenting...to love and protect them, to teach them, to advocate for them.
It's challenging, the most challenging, and exhausting, thing I have ever undertaken. Sometimes I get this parenting gig right, sometimes I get it wrong.
Even though it's not an easy ride, I am so grateful that I have the responsibility to love and teach these sweet little souls.
I do have to question though, in light of our conversation, what example am I teaching my kids? What is the living, breathing lesson I am presenting to them everyday?
That life is serious? I don't like the sound of that.
I think I have a lot to learn.
Master 5 will teach me a good portion of it...
"Oh, adults are boring?" I replied. "That doesn't sound like something to look forward to at all. What about when I jump on the trampoline and we laugh together?" I questioned.
"Oh yeh, I like that." He looked thoughtful.
"What about when Daddy buys remote control cars, just for adults, as well as one for you? That's pretty cool. He still plays with toys!"
My son smiled.
It was a nice conversation but, interestingly, I felt like I had something to prove.
"What about when I laugh at your sister pretending to be a baby when she IS a baby?"
"What about when I ride the scooter?" As I say this I remember that I haven't rode it in weeks, maybe months.
"What about when I sing nursery rhymes with different words, sometimes even silly and rude words?"
He smiled his gorgeous smile and said "Let's jump on the trampoline!", his worries calmed for the moment and an opportunity for me to walk the talk.
I want more of the good stuff.
I want to be in the moment more with my kids and not worry about all my responsibilities all the time; all the jobs that need to be done. I want to not be cranky at tea time when I realise I don't have any clean dishes 'cos I didn't wash any because I was jumping on the trampoline.
Did I say I have lots to learn?
So yesterday afternoon we jumped on the trampoline. I smiled. I attempted to do a somersault, I failed. I jumped holding Master 5 and laughed and cuddled him. I jumped holding Miss 1 while looking at her precious, giggling, innocent face enjoying her mummy's full attention. I watched my son and daughter roll and giggle and wrestle.
We all jumped together.