I am feeling confused about this blog.
I am discovering that thinking about blogging or interrupting the moment to take a photo or wondering if I'll post our latest art project/conversation/adventure later in the day takes me away from the present moment.
This kind of wondering, interrupting and forward thinking changes my awareness to the future.
It doesn't feel right.
I cry as I write this because this blog has been a real pleasure for me and it feels like goodbye in the form that it is.
BUT it also feels like I need to let it go for the mean time so I can make room for something new, whatever that will be.
What does feel right for me at the moment?
Being with my family and friends.
Being in nature/hiking.
Writing only when I feel inspired.
Thank you so much to everyone who has read and shared and supported me in this little adventure, it has been a mix of wonderful joy and challenging growth.
For now, I'll leave you with a few photos of my latest gratitude mandalas.
All my love,
It began as a fear, turned into a worry, morphed ever so gently and slowly into "Well, everyone else is doing it, it must be okay" and then, quite suddenly, it turned back into....
"My heart says no. At least right now."
What am I talking about?
Broadcasting my family's every move to over 2 billion internet users.
My family, and especially my children, haven't signed up for this.
I am an adult and I can choose but they have not.
I want my kids to choose.
I can't imagine writing about them when they are older anyway, that feels very much like an invasion of privacy, so I'm not sure why it wouldn't be now. Perhaps because they are little and cute and say adorable things that make for good stories?! Hmmm.
Don't get me wrong. If you love posting pics of your kids on your blog or other internet sites, don't let my change of mind deter you. Many people liken it to taking their kids out in public so if you feel good about your choice, stick with it :-)
As for me, I've changed my mind.
I am going to listen to my heart on this one.
How do I write a family blog without posting pics of my kids or without sharing snippets of our conversations?
I have no idea.
I probably can't.
I'll let you know when I know!
(Update as of March 2013, I have deleted most of my family focused posts and it feels right. And as you can see, the blog is still going and growing just as it should :-)
Harvest indeed. Or perhaps death by home grown apricots.
We have a bumper crop at the moment.
I'm no gardener, I may have said that before, but we were very lucky to have several established fruit trees on our property when we purchased it.
The Man of the House came home from work yesterday, counted the stones on the kitchen counter and then asked me if I'd eaten twenty apricots today.
"Hmm, I've eaten 20 apricots in the last hour or so!" Perhaps a slight over exaggeration but not by much!
No tummy ache yet!
Time for stewing.
I've been stewing up literally hundreds this afternoon thanks to my lovely local friend's advice on what to do.
Enough apricots to cover the bottom of the pot and a little bit of water. Cook til soft. EASY!
They taste great off the tree but even better stewed, super sweet.
Now it's time for pie.
It is cooking away in the oven now so here's a pic of one I prepared earlier.
Let me know if you try it. Serve with icecream or cream, mmmm.
Do you have fruit trees? Would you like some?
The temperature here in South Australia is extreme, it reached 47 degrees in my town a couple of days ago so when I heard there was going to be morning aqua aerobics at the beach in my area I was keen.
There were ladies of a variety of ages, abilities and fitness and our teacher Linda led with experience and a warm, personable energy.
I felt like I was making the most of my time there by pushing my body to move but at the same time gently aware of what I was capable of as a newbie.
The class went for an hour and included walking and jogging in the waist deep water, a little swimming and quite a lot of resistance exercises with hand discs and noodles...plus a lot of fun! It reminded me of the time I enjoyed a term of aqua aerobics at the local pool when I was pregnant over 5 years ago; this class had a similar vibe....lots of jokes and a real lightness. Perhaps it depends on the participants but when I wasn't puffing, I was smiling and laughing.
Feeling my heart rate rise and my muscles work felt goooood (most of the time!) and I didn't feel hot and bothered at all, I felt cool and refreshed...this little water baby found it to be a lovely balance.
I will definitely be back for more. Exercising at the beach in a group was just right for me.
Is aqua aerobics, either at the pool or a beach, something you think you might enjoy too?
This recent little adventure involved fresh air and seafood :-)
My son is an outdoorsy boy so I was thinking that perhaps we could go on a local fishing charter for a day sometime soon.
As luck would have it, my brother in law was staying over at Christmas and he offered to take Master 5 out for a trip in the new year. He hadn't been out fishing at sea in some time so he was keen to make it happen soon.
A few days before the scheduled trip I asked if I could come out too.
I figured it would be a good way to kick off the new year. Unfortunately, on the actual day, I felt tired and Miss 2 was feeling clingy and I wondered if it was all a bit too hard.
Perhaps it would be easier for me to stay home. This is definitely a pattern for me that arises sometimes since I've had children. Limited time and energy, you know how it is.
As it was, Miss 2 cheered up when she saw her extended family and I was granted leave with a friendly wave goodbye.
I decided I would head out after all.
Now, I have been fishing in the open sea before but I suffered quite badly from motion sickness that day so I had a couple of requests this time around.
1. I needed advice on how to NOT feel sick. I would take this advice.
and 2. If I felt sick, please bring me back to land.
Eat lots of nibbles.
Keep my eye on the horizon.
Don't sit down for long.
And yes, we could go back if I was crook.
Out to sea a little way we anchored the boat, baited our fishing rods, cast them out (or drop them in Master 5's case) and lowered our crab nets.
I wondered how long we would have to wait.
Not long it seemed.
"Something is pulling!" Master 5 cried and he reeled it in.
That's my boy, first go!
Unfortunately it was a puffer fish. No good. We inspected it and threw it back in. It was a popular catch for us. I caught one and my son caught quite a few more, even a double header at one stage. He was stoked and the 'lucky dip' aspect of fishing was really fun. We also caught a few 'grunters', also throw-backs.
The crab nets fared a little better but all of our catch were all undersized bar one.
This one was a beauty.
We measured it for size and Master 5 even held it carefully, holding the pincers tightly so as not to get bitten.
We then moved to a different spot to try our luck and I caught two snappers, under sized again, unfortunately.
It had been a couple of hours by then and I wasn't sick!! The water was relatively calm, thank goodness.
We stayed out for about 3 hours all up and headed back in when the tide headed out.
I do like fresh sea air.
I do like the fun and excitement of reeling something up to see what we've caught.
And I do like eating seafood.
Back at home our Blue Swimmer turned red. Sorry little guy.
And then it was fresh crab with lemon juice along side hot fish and chips from the shop.
Do you like boating or fishing?
How are you feeling today?
Did you have a good Christmas and New Year celebration?
Ours was good.
But, lest I trigger something in you that gives you the shits, our Christmas and New Years Eve wasn't a perfect image on a Hallmark card...although parts of it were.
Sometimes the holiday season is...kinda ordinary. Maybe even a bit of a let down after all of the build up.
Sometimes the holiday season brings up sadness and grief as we miss loved ones who are no longer with us.
Sometimes we get triggered and upset.
Good and bad. Highs and lows. Extraordinary and ordinary.
This new year I have some wishes for you.
I wish for you to experience more highs than lows.
I wish for you to recognise and cherish the highs when you are experiencing them.
I wish for you to feel nourished and supported when you are experiencing a low by taking good care of yourself.
Last night I watched the early fireworks for New Years Eve with my little family and I breathed it in. We were one of hundreds of other young families down at the beach.
My daughter stroked my face with her sweet little hand as she said, "Pop! Pop!" over and over, both frightened and excited at the same time as she took in the noisy, bright display.
My heart felt full and happy and I remembered again that life is very, very special.
And so are you.
Happy New Year